Who wants to deal with a selfish person? A mean, obnoxious, and sometimes repulsive person. That’s who I am sometimes. I am all of these things and I have no problem admitting this. Surprisingly not, I proudly hold much higher characteristics that denote warmth and affection. Does he see more of the brighter side of my personality spectrum? I think to myself…hmm, I wonder if my attractive quality traits override the unattractive ones. More times than others, I wonder why does he deal with me.
There are many times I beat myself up for letting my self go. For bringing out personality traits I thought I could control.
A relationship is hard. It’s not just about me anymore. I cannot expect him to put aside his wants and needs, for mine. I can’t. It is just not realistic. So why am I so selfish? He loves me so much. Quite truthfully, I mirror his love, but harder. I can’t help it, I was born with the natural desire to love a man. The way he holds me, kisses me, and even the slightest touches- like arm brushes, head scratches, and ear kisses. These all mean so much to me. Yet I find myself exercising selfishness. He loves me so much …isn’t this enough?