Think for a minute the type of person you are typically attracted to. Do they usually carry all of the traits you look for/want in a partner; or do you find yourself settling? Someone much wiser than I am once said to me: it’s ok to “settle” to some extent in your relationship…as long as you like at least 80% of your partner’s character.
Eighty percent, huh? Wow! That’s kind of a high percentage. Or is it too low? I guess it all depends on your tolerance level of disrespect, lack of passion, and other cold shoulder treatments that sometimes arise in a relationship, especially over a long period of time. Let’s face it, we are human and sometimes, we just want our space. Simultaneously, we forget about our lover’s feelings, and we forget that our partner deserves to be treated with love and kindness–assuming– a mutual love and understanding of each other exist.
Some of us find that over time we start to distance ourselves from the one we love, whether physically or mentally. This tends to happen naturally; or purposely. Maybe we are just too comfortable with our person, so there’s no need to push so much love on each other anymore. Somehow the fondest and happiest of memories tend to become less and less appreciated and talked about because we simply stop remembering.
The other idea is that we purposely create space to communicate something…whether it be anger, sadness, or separation.
What if two people are crazy about each other, and it remains that way forever. Soul mates…do they exist? I think so. Sometimes it just takes trial and error to find. What if the 80% threshold idea is just another generally accepted proposition that is meant to convince people they are in what they call…a “healthy” relationship? It’s easy to define a healthy relationship in a therapy session, or over the internet, and via text message to our friends…but are we actually acting on it with our partner?